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Common People


All you need to know about the charming Ealing Common.



Guess what folks? It has a common!!

In the sun it’s a nice place to stretch legs, but more often than not, the local boozers congregate just outside it, next to an unused public toilet which smells of gas. Sometimes it’s fun to play “dodge the Tyskie can”, as they’re flung to mark the end, or start of a sesh.


“Thank you for visiting ealing parks”, is a sign that marks your exit out the common. No, thank YOU Ealing parks, thank YOU! Just after that, you’ll spot the “Rat’s are a hazard to human health” sign which brings you back to life.




London’s first Nandos opened in Ealing Common, which I brag about at any chance I can get. I know most the staff by name, which is bittersweet because I’m pretty sure they don’t know mine. Often I’m there alone, filling out feedback forms with teary eyes, remarking “you’ve outdone yourself this time” to EJ, the supervisor.

A Little Recommendation: 1/2 Chicken. If you’re veggie, try the “Supergreen” burger. It’s more cream than veg but life is all about balance babe.



I live on a road that’s shaped like a horse shoe. It once housed Jamiroquai and Jeffrey from The Fresh Prince, who may actually still be here!! It also houses two of my best friends which makes up for us being only children.


Apart from A Listers, we’ve had a lot of other exciting characters pon road. Just like the family of travellers who moved in when I was fifteen. The father of the 10 kids helped us discover a new hobby!! He had a self proclaimed “shite problem”, so we would watch bags of poo be slung out their window. This problem of his clearly didn’t hinder his confidence, because when we’d walk past him, he’d shout stuff like “Orite blonde muff”, which at the time, I didn’t understand.


My house is tall and pointy and sometimes I want to torch it. Since my mum moved, it’s been left to collect dust, resulting in a constant puff on an inhaler, which is good for Vicks sales at least. Dad won’t get a cleaner, despite gentle reminders, like leaving brochures under his pillow or sending him Subtle emails. “I hear Fantastic Cleaners are TRULY Fantastic….”


If you have achy joints or just want some plain r ‘n’ r, it comes with a price. Taking a bath is tricky business. I don’t know how, but I lost the bath plug, so I have to fill up a sandwich bag with water instead. When life gives you lemons, ey!



Ealing Common does have the BEST SUSHI in town. Go to “ATARIYA“. The lunch special is a tenner and you get so much good stuff!!


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