I thought, as they kept cropping up on my Instagram.
They claimed to be musicians but had no links to songs.
Three things, I did find.
1.) They’re twins.
2.) They like to wear suits.
3.) Sometimes they wear wife beaters.
It did cross my mind, when I saw frequent “we’re DJing tonight” posts
and a picture with Alexa Chung.
Then, their first song finally dropped. “Second Sweat.”
Watched the video and thought it a bit homoerotic, which was
slightly uncomfortable considering they’re related.
Anyway, I liked the song.
(I’d be lying if it didn’t take me a few listens to get into, though.)
When I saw they were playing in
town in just a week, I thought:
“Why the HECK not?!!”
Quickly took to Instagram and slid in the DMs.
“May I take pictures of you before your gig?”
So… here’s what happened!
VENUE? Shacklewell Arms
FIRST BAND ON? Spoort
Not only did they sound good,
but the lead singer looked like Timmy Chalamet!
Afterward, I met Faux Real at the
bar before their set.
Collectively we decided on
“taking it to the streets”
like a year 9 pissed about his
mate stealing the last Tangfastic.
What were they like?
They were pretty mellow, but as
soon as the flash
pointed in their direction it
was a completely different story.
I mean, hats off to them, because
they knew how
to work the camera, but…really?
“Can you take that again of me? It’s not a good angle.” One of them said.
And it was #showtime.
I couldn’t believe it!
Now it was so crowded I had to elbow people
out the way and pretend to need the loo just
to get a look in near the front.
bulging eyes and
synchronised dance moves.
The songs felt pretty reminiscent of
Music & Lyrics’s “Pop Goes My Heart.”
And I mean that in
the best way possible.
I had no doubt that these
tracks would become hits,
I just couldn’t understand why
they hadn’t released them….
Or why they weren’t signed. 🧐
And my friend said he needed
to leave and eat dinner.
I wasn’t hungry.
So on I stayed, standing awkwardly
at the bar, clutching a
plastic beer filled cup.
The band and their “entourage” were to my right,
which felt creepy (even for me),
like I was loitering there expectantly.
Maybe I was.
I went outside for a cigarette and
met a young monk and his two friends.
The two friends were girls
and stunning and
one was drunk, sloppy drunk,
and I really felt the friend’s pain.
Monk was Canadian and chubby
with bright blue eyes.
I liked his presence, but felt
as to why he was drinking and
“Im not your regular monk.”
Drunk girl claimed to know
one of the Faux Real twins. She said:
“There’s a like, after party. Let’s go!”
in an American French accent
which sounded even
more tedious in a slur.
NEXT THING I KNEW
It was 2AM and I was
in a cab with
KNOCKED ON DOOR
The place was clearly shut!
A lanky blonde kid with a
sling opened the door.
He looked at us up and down for
a moment and then finally
agreed to let us upstairs.
A small room (guessing a back office)
with steps that
went down into a
makeshift dance floor.
Drunk girl took no time to
start dancing, and she
was pretty enough
to kind of pull it off.
Spoke to one of the
twins who seemed so
unmoved by everything that
“Challenge accepted m8.”
I asked him to choose
a song, because even
though I had designated myself as DJ,
I felt like being charitable.
“I don’t know… I don’t wanna choose one.”
“If a gun was to your head, what would you choose?”
“What? Why would there be a gun to my head?”
And with that I walked back over to the
monk and poured myself another drink.
Liked this? Read about the after party with Fat White Family : HERE