Sext and the City

Max came along and I thought he would be the perfect person.

By “came along” I mean we matched on Hinge. He looked kind of neanderthal like…gormless, also a bit like James Franco, but not enough to make me *catch feelings*. In the first five minutes we established two things.

1.) Screw lockdown! We wanted a cheeky kiss!

2.) What were we to do about it?

The Last Line

“You’re good at endings” were the last words he texted me.

He was referring to the article that I had just sent him.

Ollie and I “met” on Hinge at the beginning of lockdown. From the get go he said he was a fan of my writing, and I said I was a fan of his band. He was the “ha. Yeah.” kind of guy via text which was jarring initially, but soon we discovered we had a lot in common, which prompted him to be so bold as to say “I think we may be soul mates.”  Our first “date” was watching the same film at the same time, texting throughout. I had a Perrier bottle propped up against a pillow as him, and he had a sharpie drawn face on a coke zero bottle as me. Then a few weeks later, he suggested we go on a walk. I was terrified! What if we weren’t compatible?  When he suggested he drop-off a pizza at mine that Sunday I decided to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Protected: A Night at Soho House

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

My Date With Daddy Warbucks

John had brown black eyes that looked like they belonged on one of
the small toys you get on a keychain that’s an animal but you can’t quite pin point what kind.

I took no time to say “You have big eyes” which in my mind warranted
staring into them most of the night.

His hair was a brown blunt cut which was awkward and he knew it, hiding it in a beanie and when he took it off he’d tousle it and then tuck it behind his ears.

Corona Diary: Pt 1

Lockdown has been interesting. For someone who ordinarily finds it hard to get out of bed, this has been a challenge.  Here’s some stuff that’s happened thus far…

The Garden

Has been abandoned since my Mom left. 

The grey cement slates unrecognisable with algae and weeds that clung to it for dear life and the potted plants shrivelled as if to say “Thanx for nothing”. With all this spare time on my hands I thought, ‘enough is enough’, and found a new hobby in gardening, (aka taking my anger out on a shovel whilst listening to Meghan Thee Stallion.) 

(The Lifestyle of the Rich) and Famous

I had been on two dates with a guy. Turns out, they had never been dates at all.