Corona Diary: Pt 1

Lockdown has been interesting. For someone who ordinarily finds it hard to get out of bed, this has been a challenge.  Here’s some stuff that’s happened thus far…

The Garden

Has been abandoned since my Mom left. 

The grey cement slates unrecognisable with algae and weeds that clung to it for dear life and the potted plants shrivelled as if to say “Thanx for nothing”. With all this spare time on my hands I thought, ‘enough is enough’, and found a new hobby in gardening, (aka taking my anger out on a shovel whilst listening to Meghan Thee Stallion.) 

Life after Uni: Pt 2

BEFORE

 I started my internship the police ended up in my house.

In hindsight, there were two main factors that lead them to break down my front door and smash its stained glass into pieces. The first was that the only male attention I had gotten was by a small, plump asian boy who tried to pull down my shorts at a trampoline centre. The second was that I had been feeling so shit that I cut myself off from all my friends and all their social events. I didn’t hear them when they broke down the door, or came into my house, which means my Beats-By-Dre headphones must be seriously legit.

Nothing but your Boxers

This year was a pretty uneventful year in terms of men, which was great.

It meant that for the most part, I wasn’t complaining to my friends and constantly checking my phone for messages.

I did go on a date with a guy who was cute in a dishevelled way, who I had had a horrible crush on for three years.