Needless to say I wasn’t killed in a satanic ritual. (read pt 2 here)
Instead, Black Hair and I were kissing on the stairwell outside his grandparent’s flat.
Each kiss left me dizzy and I was waiting for it to get boring but it never did, so I reached for his belt to unbuckle but he swatted me away.
At 6am, as I was leaving, he remarked:
“I have blue balls.”
On the Uber ride home I wondered if he was gay, or if he wanted to take things “slow” which is pretty much the same thing.
I started my internship the police ended up in my house.
In hindsight, there were two main factors that lead them to break down my front door and smash its stained glass into pieces. The first was that the only male attention I had gotten was by a small, plump asian boy who tried to pull down my shorts at a trampoline centre. The second was that I had been feeling so shit that I cut myself off from all my friends and all their social events. I didn’t hear them when they broke down the door, or came into my house, which means my Beats-By-Dre headphones must be seriously legit.