My Date With Daddy Warbucks

John had brown black eyes that looked like they belonged on one of
the small toys you get on a keychain that’s an animal but you can’t quite pin point what kind.

I took no time to say “You have big eyes” which in my mind warranted
staring into them most of the night.

His hair was a brown blunt cut which was awkward and he knew it, hiding it in a beanie and when he took it off he’d tousle it and then tuck it behind his ears.

Meeting boys in Paris

“This has to be the wrong address.” 

Look down at google, then back up at the place.

No, it is right. 

Fabulous.

LE PALACE CLUB

We’re outside an old theatre, with three weird men outside, 
who all look like ex cons.

Reluctantly we enter the hallway, 
which looks like it’s seen no action since the 1920s. 

Go down some steps and open two heavy black doors to find…

Surviving a Shit Show: Pt 2

Needless to say I wasn’t killed in a satanic ritual. (read pt 2 here)

Instead, Black Hair and I were kissing on the stairwell outside his grandparent’s flat.
Each kiss left me dizzy and I was waiting for it to get boring but it never did, so I reached for his belt to unbuckle but he swatted me away.

At 6am, as I was leaving, he remarked:

“I have blue balls.”
On the Uber ride home I wondered if he was gay, or if he wanted to take things “slow” which is pretty much the same thing.

Performance Anxiety with Insecure Men

Insecure Men were playing Rock En Seine Festival on Saturday. I was there too, and despite getting a press pass, didn’t have an interview with them.

It was kind of a let down and made me feel like a bit of a loser. What was the point of  ‘working’ the festival if I wasn’t talking to anyone good? I chose to spend the Saturday morning taking it out on  Jared Leto and his band, who were slagged off to anyone who would listen.

SUDDENLY, my intel told me Saul and Ben were entering the festival and were heading for the portaloos!! When we sped-walked over to Ben and asked to talk, he said, “Yeah, sure.”

Nothing but your Boxers

This year was a pretty uneventful year in terms of men, which was great.

It meant that for the most part, I wasn’t complaining to my friends and constantly checking my phone for messages.

I did go on a date with a guy who was cute in a dishevelled way, who I had had a horrible crush on for three years.